(Recovered from a yard sale in Pasadena, CA, in a Florsheim shoe box also containing a yellow turtleneck sweater, size L; the script for a one-act play, “Death Is My Client”; and the incomplete manuscript for a pornographic novel, “Queen of Perversions”, by “Pete Draper”)
FADE IN:
EXT – SPACE
The ENTERPRISE orbits an Earth-like world.
KIRK
(voiceover)
Captain’s Log Stardate 2390.5 The Enterprise has arrived at the planet Southron, here to study the early industrial civilization.
INT – ENTERPRISE – CONFERENCE ROOM
KIRK, SPOCK, MCCOY and CHEKOV are seated around the conference table.
UHURA is standing to give the briefing next to the display screen.
UHURA
Southron is an M-type planet with a mixed agrarian-industrial culture, 3.4 on the Nakahara development scale.
SPOCK
(interrupts)
My revised assessment places it at 3.6
UHURA
Yes, ah, 3.6. We’ve completed preliminary scans of one of the farming communities.
KIRK
In other words, just like a dozen other planets we’ve surveyed.
MCCOY
Getting bored with your work, Captain?
UHURA
I think this culture merits further study before we send in field observors.
KIRK
I appreciate your diligence, Lieutenant, but I’m sure we’ll be fine. (to Spock and McCoy) Let’s get to work, gentlemen.
Kirk leads the other officers out of the meeting room, leaving Uhura standing there.
CUT TO:
INT – ENTERPRISE – TRANSPORTER ROOM Kirk, Spock and McCoy (all dressed in cowboy-era clothes, Spock covering his ears with a hat) step onto the transporter pad.
KIRK
Energize.
SFX: KIRK, SPOCK and MCCOY beam out.
EXT:DAY – SOUTHRON – WOODS
Kirk, Spock and McCoy beam in.
MCCOY
Nice place.
KIRK
We’ll proceed on foot south to the town.
They start walking.
CUT TO:
Some time later, they’re still walking
LAGRY
(off camera)
Halt, negrons!
Shot of LAGRY, a slave trader and tracker, and THUG 1 and THUG 2. All are black and armed with rifles.
KIRK
Excuse me?
SPOCK
(quietly to Kirk)
That would be us.
LAGRY
Who owns you?
….